I dislike conflict
Good news: you are not the only one who feels that way.
Two hungry Rottweilers + one bone; two bold and ballsy bachelors + one nubile
maiden; two crack dealers + one gloomy city street. Stand back and watch the
fun…yet if you could offer a painless alternative, most antagonists would accept
it willingly.
Confrontation over limited resources is natural: good negotiation is counter-intuitive
- it has to be learned.
If you don't like conflict, there is only one reason for it to happen in a negotiation:
your opponent wants it - and probably because he doesn't understand there's
another way.
  • Try educating him into Win:Win - an expression many people use without
    really understanding it. Win:win negotiation is not a recipe for a
    compromise cake with a bit of pretty icing on the top. It actually works like
    this: If we can find something which is important for you and easy for me
    to provide, and something which I really would like and you can spare, and
    then trade them off, we've both won! (By this magical process, the cake
    gets bigger…)
  • If he still seems to want a fight, consider sending in a colleague who
    enjoys a scrap - but please don't call it negotiation.
Click around the other advice sections for more tabloid tips, or
go to Books or contact us for a fuller treatment.
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